My Christmas Spirit

Those who know me well can attest to one thing; Tara LOVES Christmas. The carols, trees, lights and presents under the tree have always fascinated me. For me, Christmas equates joy. And why not? It is the birth of our Lord.

This year sadly, the Christmas spirit I normally have is just not there and when it comes, it doesn't last. For one, I didn't get into mode Christmas till yesterday, Christmas Eve! Very unlike me. And now, my Christmas spirit is gone again. A chain of events and certain people killed my Christmas spirit over the course of the day.

Now it's Christmas morning and all I want for Christmas really...is my Christmas spirit back again. Without it, I can't have the Christmas I envision; a merry one!

On a happier note, Merry Christmas to all! Thank you for always reading :*

Second Chances

Being human, we often make mistakes.
Even the most perfect of us mess up bad sometimes. It's just part of human nature.
Why then don't we freely give second chances?
How come that concept is so outdated...so foreign?
A mistake is made and a verdict is cast.
So sudden, without thought for what was and what could be.
I believe people make mistakes, mistakes they later regret.
Why punish someone for something they already punish themselves for?
In this life, holding a grudge takes way more strength
More strength than it takes to forgive.
For that reason, I prefer to let things go.
I prefer to move ahead and look towards a better future.
I believe in second chances.
After all, I will someday need one.

Perception (Misunderstood)

Perception...a way of regarding, interpreting or understanding something. More often than not, perception (especially pertaining to humans) is wrong. It's better to work with fact.

Unfortunately, some people are just unlucky. When dealing with them, people always assume...they never ask. Why isn't really the point. After all, just the same way we have the rich, we have the poor. There's thin and there's fat and there's nice and there's mean. So we have those that no matter what, people will ask them "did that happen? Is this you? Could it be?" and then we have those that people only make their perceptions about and pass judgement.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you what group I belong to. If I belonged to the former, I wouldn't be writing this blog. But I am not writing this blog to change peoples' perceptions of me either. Honestly, I couldn't really be bothered what you think you know about me.

I'm writing this blog for those who are always perceived wrongly too. Your intentions are always misunderstood...heck, you are misunderstood in general! I just have one piece of advice that has helped me deal with being so misunderstood. YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS or those that MATTER to YOU should ALWAYS know the REAL story. They are the ones whose opinions count! Not everyone else and their wagging tongues. You should know even if you went around trying to make everyone like and understand you, some just won't. That's life.

I actually enjoy being misunderstood. Gives life a certain twist ;)

Your Environment DOES make you!

I can't stress my title enough. You don't have to agree. It's my opinion, my blog and I only speak from experience anyway.

The last three years in AUN have been crazy. As I approach graduation and the next phase of my life, I have been forced to look back and reflect on myself as a person. I noticed something a little creepy! AUN has brought out a strange personality in me.

When I first came to AUN, I was meek, easily intimidated and quite frankly, a baby. Just 16! I thought I knew it all then but this school showed me I have a long way to go. Since the bubble of innocence and naivety burst, I have discovered a lot of things about the world and people in general. That's not the point of this post though. The point is AUN has changed me in a lot of ways. Some I like, some not so much.

In an environment where you have one or two true friends, people always have something mean to say about you, guys are only interested in you for your physical attributes, and girls take the piss because you have what they don't...what do you think the outcome could be on your personality? I don't know about you but here is what such an environment has done for me.

• I am smarter now. Old Tara was extremely gullible. If someone told me back then that they could fly, I could have believed it because I always gave people the benefit of doubt. Now, not at all. It has become so bad, I don't even believe those who may be telling me the truth!
• I am meaner now. This one, I actually do like. It doesn't pay to be too nice. Eloka, Download and co taught me that! 
• I now freely express myself. What is the point of bottling up our feelings inside? Say what is on your mind...or tweet it or blog it. Keeping it in won't help.
• I am more self sufficient. In my first semester, with the exception of going to my classes, doing my work and writing my own exams and of course a few other things people do for themselves, I had almost everything done for me. Or at least, I was told how things should be done. Now, I do me, I take care of my own self and I rely on ME, MYSELF and I.
• I have learned to separate what I should care about from what is irrelevant. This is very important. There are opinions and ideas out there and some make sense while some are just bull****. That's why we are also different people. What makes sense to me, could be your bull****. Even this blog post might be crap to you. And that is OK. It's your life, not so?

This fall break, when I got home my boyfriend said I seemed different. Colder, more hardcore...that kinda thing. I laughed because I thought he was talking bullocks. But he is so right! When I am here, that side of my personality surfaces. I constantly have to protect myself from all the crap this environment brings and the only way I have learnt to do that is by putting up that tough "bitchy" exterior. Unfortunately, I have been at it so long it has become a part of me. 

Enter Queen Biatch! Tara and Queen Biatch are different people. Tara is who I have always been and will always be. Queen Biatch is the crazy woman who is ready to kick ass and I have AUN to thank for her conception. This twisted environment made her. 

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker...another Hollywood couple bite the dust

Personally, I have always liked Eva Longoria. When she and Tony Parker started dating in 2004, I wasn't floored by the match but I did think they were pretty cute. In 2006, they got engaged and in 2007, married. While I don't know any of em and I can't say I know if and why they are getting divorced, what I do know is that I am highly disappointed. Aside from the fact that they are public figures that maybe some might have looked up to, what ever happened to the sanctity of marriage?! Why do these people keep getting married only to get divorced and so soon after? You may as well keep dating if you know the slightest wave can rock the marriage! What's even more annoying, is how much they spend on these weddings! Kmt. Won't even go into it. It's not my money after all.

2010 has seen Christina Aguilera and her own hubby split up. Also, David and Courtney Cox (that one hurt!). Still all hope is not lost.

Now when I get news that Will and Jada Smith are splitting up, or worse yet, Jay Z and Beyonce, my personal favorite couple in all Hollywood, then I will totally give up on Hollywood marriages!