Clinging on to me

A long time ago, a girl loved a boy so much that she lost herself. She loved going out but never did because he didn't like going out. She liked a certain style of dressing but never wore what she liked because he didn't approve. She wanted to do so many things, see so many people and go so many places but she never did because she didn't want to upset him.

Finally, she was so lost she wasn't happy anymore. She had to break away from him and start finding herself again. That was about 2 years ago. In those two years, so much happened. Her persona went from "quiet fresher who came to college with her high school love" to a lot of things. Some good, some bad. Some people said she had lost her way, some said she was acting out. But that's life for you. There will always be those that talk, and those that know what they are talking about.

It wasn't easy to break away from 3 years of routine. It was certainly not easy getting through the years after that. So many times she just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. Some times, the new freedom she had found made her feel elated and she might have gotten carried away. But does she regret any of the choices she made? Should she? Why should she when she finally discovered herself? She grew into herself, learned to love herself and learned to live for herself.

So this summer, she met someone new. He is great and he makes her very happy when she is not about to rip his head off. The problem now is its not a summer fling like the "boyfriend" last summer was. This survived past summer and it seems to be going somewhere. What is wrong with that, some may ask. Well I'll tell you!

How many of us feel being in a serious relationship at this stage in life can make one lose sight of who they really are? Maybe to conform to what is expected of you, maybe because that thing you like to do gets your partner upset and you would rather not fight that day. It may seem like a little thing. After all, what is a relationship without compromise yeah?

Some people however, fight giving in to someone. Some people never want to compromise for someone else again because the last time they did, it cost them. It cost them the loss of who they really are. I'm one of those people.

This time, I'm clinging on to me.