I like...

Sometimes you wonder what you are doing in a certain place. Why aren't you elsewhere? What are you contributing to the place you're at? Will people notice if you leave? Will they miss you when you are not there? These are the questions that go through our minds.

I like to think I came to AUN to help someone whenever they needed a place to crash.
I like to believe that someone will miss me when I am not here cause they don't have that person that always makes 'em laugh.
I like to think that someone knows if I wasn't in a certain class, he or she would have failed the course.
I like to think I gave someone courage to do something they didn't think they could do.
I like to think that I showed someone that just cause a girl won't date you, doesn't mean she didn't care about you.
I like to think I made someone's birthday a very special one.
I like to think I provide an anchor for someone and having me around meant having someone to always talk to.
I like to think my existence showed someone that angels do come to earth once in a while.
I like to think my being here showed someone what real love is.

If you are not doing anything for anyone where you are, then why are you there?

Letting go isn't always easy (R.I.P Aunty Vio)

Yesterday, I was very down and depressed. I looked around and started to see all the things I would miss when I do leave AUN. For those of you who don't know, I am transferring to a new school in fall and leaving AUN for good. At least, that is the hope! But yesterday, as I sat outside at my favorite spot in front of Girls' Dorm, a lot of memories came to me. Right up was the window of the only room I ever stayed in and I suddenly saw my old roommate, Rosemary, dancing, as silly as ever. This of course was all in my head because Rosemary graduated last year. Next i looked at the stones on the ground. The stones my ex boyfriend used to pick up and throw at the window whenever he came around looking for me. Even where I sat, was where he and I had always stayed whenever I came down, talking, cuddling, laughing and sometimes, fighting. Before I knew it, I was crying for AUN! A place I thought I was so happy to leave. Its funny how hard letting go can be.

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of the death of one of my favourite aunts. She died in a car crash in 2007 on this very day. Cruel April Fools' joke huh? I also realised that I haven't let go of her yet. Obviously I am not supposed to forget her but I surely haven't said goodbye yet. I am scared that if I do, then she really is dead! Is that crazy or what? Well its how I feel.

Letting go is tough. But its something we all have to do at some point in our lives. We either let go of old friends, old schools, old relationships, and lost loved ones. If you don't know how to let go, you basically end up carrying a lot of baggage through out your life, like I have done for the past three years.

I am using today to let go finally. Rest in Peace Aunty Violet. I miss you dearly, but you are in a better place. Xxx