Mirror mirror on the wall

Yesterday, just before my class, I went into the bathroom and stared at the mirror. I laughed for a good five minutes after, and then the tears surfaced. Why was I laughing? I laughed because I saw a baby in the mirror; cute clear face, dimples, innocent smile, even now I don't use weaves anymore, it makes me look younger. So I laughed at the irony of it all, I laughed at the fact that people who don't know me well, always look at my face and think I am capable of nothing. They think I am just a baby!

Then the tears came. They came because of the memory of each time I have felt pain too deep for a baby. They came because as I stared at myself in the mirror, I realized this; I am a woman trapped in the "little girl" persona people label me with. Only very few people really know me. Most others from my parents, to friends, to other relatives and even acquaintances would be amazed to know what I have done and the things I have felt.

At first, it was amusing. Fooling people with the innocent eyes and dimples gave me a thrill. But yesterday, as I stared at my teary-eyed reflection on the wall, I realized that it was time to stop, because I don't even know who I am anymore. Rather, I know who I am but I spend way too much time hiding that person because I feel the need to protect those who think I am a baby. I give them the baby they want to see and now, that has gotten exhausting.

We all need to start living for ourselves. Be who you are and those that truly love you and care about you will be there. Those that don't accept the real you, maybe they aren't meant to be a continuos chapter in your life. Turn the page and move on. The worst thing you can do to yourself, is denying who you REALLY are.