My Christmas Spirit

Those who know me well can attest to one thing; Tara LOVES Christmas. The carols, trees, lights and presents under the tree have always fascinated me. For me, Christmas equates joy. And why not? It is the birth of our Lord.

This year sadly, the Christmas spirit I normally have is just not there and when it comes, it doesn't last. For one, I didn't get into mode Christmas till yesterday, Christmas Eve! Very unlike me. And now, my Christmas spirit is gone again. A chain of events and certain people killed my Christmas spirit over the course of the day.

Now it's Christmas morning and all I want for Christmas really...is my Christmas spirit back again. Without it, I can't have the Christmas I envision; a merry one!

On a happier note, Merry Christmas to all! Thank you for always reading :*

Second Chances

Being human, we often make mistakes.
Even the most perfect of us mess up bad sometimes. It's just part of human nature.
Why then don't we freely give second chances?
How come that concept is so outdated...so foreign?
A mistake is made and a verdict is cast.
So sudden, without thought for what was and what could be.
I believe people make mistakes, mistakes they later regret.
Why punish someone for something they already punish themselves for?
In this life, holding a grudge takes way more strength
More strength than it takes to forgive.
For that reason, I prefer to let things go.
I prefer to move ahead and look towards a better future.
I believe in second chances.
After all, I will someday need one.

Perception (Misunderstood)

Perception...a way of regarding, interpreting or understanding something. More often than not, perception (especially pertaining to humans) is wrong. It's better to work with fact.

Unfortunately, some people are just unlucky. When dealing with them, people always assume...they never ask. Why isn't really the point. After all, just the same way we have the rich, we have the poor. There's thin and there's fat and there's nice and there's mean. So we have those that no matter what, people will ask them "did that happen? Is this you? Could it be?" and then we have those that people only make their perceptions about and pass judgement.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you what group I belong to. If I belonged to the former, I wouldn't be writing this blog. But I am not writing this blog to change peoples' perceptions of me either. Honestly, I couldn't really be bothered what you think you know about me.

I'm writing this blog for those who are always perceived wrongly too. Your intentions are always misunderstood...heck, you are misunderstood in general! I just have one piece of advice that has helped me deal with being so misunderstood. YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS or those that MATTER to YOU should ALWAYS know the REAL story. They are the ones whose opinions count! Not everyone else and their wagging tongues. You should know even if you went around trying to make everyone like and understand you, some just won't. That's life.

I actually enjoy being misunderstood. Gives life a certain twist ;)

Your Environment DOES make you!

I can't stress my title enough. You don't have to agree. It's my opinion, my blog and I only speak from experience anyway.

The last three years in AUN have been crazy. As I approach graduation and the next phase of my life, I have been forced to look back and reflect on myself as a person. I noticed something a little creepy! AUN has brought out a strange personality in me.

When I first came to AUN, I was meek, easily intimidated and quite frankly, a baby. Just 16! I thought I knew it all then but this school showed me I have a long way to go. Since the bubble of innocence and naivety burst, I have discovered a lot of things about the world and people in general. That's not the point of this post though. The point is AUN has changed me in a lot of ways. Some I like, some not so much.

In an environment where you have one or two true friends, people always have something mean to say about you, guys are only interested in you for your physical attributes, and girls take the piss because you have what they don't...what do you think the outcome could be on your personality? I don't know about you but here is what such an environment has done for me.

• I am smarter now. Old Tara was extremely gullible. If someone told me back then that they could fly, I could have believed it because I always gave people the benefit of doubt. Now, not at all. It has become so bad, I don't even believe those who may be telling me the truth!
• I am meaner now. This one, I actually do like. It doesn't pay to be too nice. Eloka, Download and co taught me that! 
• I now freely express myself. What is the point of bottling up our feelings inside? Say what is on your mind...or tweet it or blog it. Keeping it in won't help.
• I am more self sufficient. In my first semester, with the exception of going to my classes, doing my work and writing my own exams and of course a few other things people do for themselves, I had almost everything done for me. Or at least, I was told how things should be done. Now, I do me, I take care of my own self and I rely on ME, MYSELF and I.
• I have learned to separate what I should care about from what is irrelevant. This is very important. There are opinions and ideas out there and some make sense while some are just bull****. That's why we are also different people. What makes sense to me, could be your bull****. Even this blog post might be crap to you. And that is OK. It's your life, not so?

This fall break, when I got home my boyfriend said I seemed different. Colder, more hardcore...that kinda thing. I laughed because I thought he was talking bullocks. But he is so right! When I am here, that side of my personality surfaces. I constantly have to protect myself from all the crap this environment brings and the only way I have learnt to do that is by putting up that tough "bitchy" exterior. Unfortunately, I have been at it so long it has become a part of me. 

Enter Queen Biatch! Tara and Queen Biatch are different people. Tara is who I have always been and will always be. Queen Biatch is the crazy woman who is ready to kick ass and I have AUN to thank for her conception. This twisted environment made her. 

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker...another Hollywood couple bite the dust

Personally, I have always liked Eva Longoria. When she and Tony Parker started dating in 2004, I wasn't floored by the match but I did think they were pretty cute. In 2006, they got engaged and in 2007, married. While I don't know any of em and I can't say I know if and why they are getting divorced, what I do know is that I am highly disappointed. Aside from the fact that they are public figures that maybe some might have looked up to, what ever happened to the sanctity of marriage?! Why do these people keep getting married only to get divorced and so soon after? You may as well keep dating if you know the slightest wave can rock the marriage! What's even more annoying, is how much they spend on these weddings! Kmt. Won't even go into it. It's not my money after all.

2010 has seen Christina Aguilera and her own hubby split up. Also, David and Courtney Cox (that one hurt!). Still all hope is not lost.

Now when I get news that Will and Jada Smith are splitting up, or worse yet, Jay Z and Beyonce, my personal favorite couple in all Hollywood, then I will totally give up on Hollywood marriages!

My Future Baby...Amboo

Yesterday, my boyfriend called me and while talking about his dogs, he let out a surprise he had for me next year. When they mate and have puppies, he's going to give me one! So delightful because; one, I happen to think a guy giving a girl a pet is such a romantic gesture. Two, I love dogs and I have wanted one since my last one (Marshall) ran away. Don't worry, he didn't run away cause I mistreated him. LOL. We were very good friends.

Anyways, Colin's (my boyfriend) dogs are called Taboo (weird name I know!) and Amber. I actually got to pick Amber's name :) They are both pit bulls and as a matter of fact, before knowing them both, I didn't fancy pit bulls too much. They are dogs so I still loved 'em but i didn't think they were cute. But Taboo and Amber, OMG! This picture of em doesn't do them justice, trust me (Amber left, Taboo right)

All day, I have been dreaming about my future puppy. Decided (with advice from Cynthia) that I would rather have a girl than a boy. And I am going to name her "Amboo", a mixture of her parents' names. LMAO! When I tweeted that earlier today, I nearly got my head chopped off. But I actually like the name! It's so unique. And it's cute. I hope she will look anything like these pups I googled. Look how adorable! Xxx

Turn Your Lights Down Low (Bob Marley ft. Lauryn Hill)

Turn Your Lights Down Low. If you don't have this song, close the page and shoot yourself. LOL. But really though, go and download it.

Mad tune. Four lifted ladies and we all singing along. Jamming.

Slow Down Baby!

India Arie's song "Slow Down" doesn't relate to this post at all. It's this line in the song that says "Slow down baby, you're moving too fast".

Slow down baby, you're moving too fast.

Is it just me and my world or are all the guys in our time way too presumptuous and quick to jump to facts? You made a joke, I laughed. A song plays on your phone and I exclaim that I love it. From that, we go into conversation and discover we like a lot of the same things. You share a drink with me, how nice. You make me feel completely comfortable and then just when I am about to conclude I have a new friend, you try to hold me. Or reach for a boob :|

Do guys realize that not every girl who is absolutely sweet to them wants to sleep with them? Is it possible that I just wanted to be your friend? Just needed someone to talk to? Maybe even someone I could see as a brother!

Guys need to chill off that though. It gets on my nerves.

Sleepless nights

It's 2:44am, Monday morning. Not exactly an ideal time to be awake especially as Monday is one of my hectic days. Between Yola's heat, three classes and just general Tara survival, I need my strength and I need my sleep.

Maybe my not being able to sleep is connected to having gotten WAY TOO MUCH rest this Sunday that just passed, but can one blame me? While it may appear to be so, my life is anything but easy. I get stressed too! And I sometimes could use a day of nothing but chilling. And even that, is tough to achieve because in addition to all the sleep, watching Dirty Sexy Money, and lying in bed I did today, I still did school work. Threw together a questionnaire for an impending project, wrote two stories, read a whole chapter of my WRI 320 textbook and finished a book for ENG 221. See, amidst all the "chilling", I still managed to get work most students would use two weekends to do, in one day!

So now, I have no further work to do (of course there is always work to do. What I mean is no PRESSING work, or at least work I would enjoy doing now), I'm stuck awake and listening to Celine Dion, music which I thought would soothe me to sleep but has only succeeded in keeping me awake thinking of my boyfriend (something I would rather not do!), and all I could come up with was to blog about the moment.

I could take a walk but that would just remind me of a moment in time I would like to forget. I don't even want to go down that road tonight. Totally unnecessary. Since I seem to enjoy writing so much and I have nothing useful to say here, I should probably get to work on my second story for WRI 320.

Sleepless nights are the worst. I think too much on nights like this and that is NEVER a good thing. Hope you guys are asleep... dreaming of nice things. X

My Roommate's Music Library

If you don't know who my roommate is, you are on a long thing (or you are just not someone I talk to on the reg' so her name is Cynthia. LMAO!). I love her collection of music! Its mostly rap/ hip hop and there are some mad tunes in there.

One day, I just need time, a hard drive, good internet (to arrange em right. Artist, Album, Year, that kinda thing. Very meticulous about my music...and other things but this is sidetracking) and her laptop (and phone too!) and I will copy all her songs and update my music library. Of course, no matter how much I update my library, I can't really enjoy my music till I get my 80GB iPod fixed. Without it, I am lost. Wow, what is with me and all the side talk? Odd much! LOL!

Other people I would like to get their music; Akin, Michael, Mitchell or was it JP (can't remember which), Haye (amazing Lauryn Hill collection!), another Cynthia and Tj. Why did I write all of that here? So I can remember later when I have the time, hard drive...bla bla bla. You already know this. LOL.

xoxo (this is fun! LOL)

Crap!

Oh crap!

Just realised I will become the new Sarah/ Steven. They are the people on my BB that update their BB statuses like they tweeting! Sure we all have someone like that on our BBs. LOL.

Well either I become that, or I will have 300 short blog posts in this week. LOL. I always feel the need to express myself. Should start doing that in song!

xoxo (that's how all my "short blog posts" will end. LOL)

Facebook, Twitter... NO THANKS!

It is so odd how I have woken up today in a fairly okay mood but then Twitter, had to piss me off. How it did, I don't even remember. LOL. But it has forced me to reach a conclusion. No Twitter or Facebook for a week!

Let's see if this week without these social networks will make my life happier! And if it does, well errone can say goodbye to me on Twitter and Facebook and start saying hello to me the old fashioned way; text messages!

Speaking of text messages, I do need to change my number too! Kmt!

The Commandments of November

First off all, I just want to thank God for the new month. One month to the end of the year! I love this period of the year; that's when I start to look back. Have I done all I said I would? Am I better than I was at the start of the year? This year has been SOMETHING! But that's a post for another day.


November. 30 days and I intend to make every single one count. My days are never routine. Random, exciting, different...just like me. LOL. However as an evolving woman, there are habits I want to cultivate and stick to. So this month, I have made a checklist of all the things I must do EVERYDAY.

• Work out
• Pray
• Read something inspiring
• Study (so painful but I must try!), and
• Do something nice for someone.

Now, things I must NOT do. Y'all may wanna take a few hints too.

• Worry, stress or obsess over stuff. It always works out as it is meant to. Plus you want to avoid getting wrinkles!
• Let people get to me.
• In the event that someone does get to me, letting them go scot-free. LMAO!
• Let myself be shushed. Shushing is for little girls!
• And finally, let my good heart get the best of me. 

Have a good new month everyone! X 

My Future

Bright lights from cameras
Fans screaming, reaching out to touch me
People listening to me, letting my voice move them
Topping the charts...and why not?
I have what it takes.


This early in life, I know those who'll be there
Simply cause they are here NOW!
My future hasn't materialized yet
But yet the won't leave my side
They are pushing me forward, they won't let me give up.


Diamonds, shoes, purses, vacations all over the world...
They don't bother me for now.
My future is full of that, that's how I'll roll.
Mingling with the high and mighty
That's where I belong.


But I won't forget where I started.
What's a future without a past? 
I'll always keep it real, but I will be a star.
I was born to do great things,
And great things I will do.

Once Again

Once Again
Love songs make me smile
There's a subject in my mind
It's him, no doubt about that.

Once Again
A phone call makes me blush
My voice changes;
There's a special voice for him.




Once Again
Someone gets to me.
He makes me want to blow up
And next thing, I'm in his arms, calm as can be.

Once Again

I have to care about someone other than myself
I want to reject that responsibility
But it's not possible. Caring for him is second nature.

Once Again

I have fallen in love.

My heart is on a trip...

But I'll be damned before I let my head go with it! 

Girlfriends

As a woman, friendship is important.
Women are emotional. They love to talk, when they are sad they want to watch a movie (a chick flick most probably) with a tub of ice cream and they find shoes orgasmic.
Hair, fashion, that new song that bashes the males, PMS, weight, future hopes and dreams...these topics need a girlfriend's ear.

A girlfriend is that chick that will hold you down no matter what. She can't stand your ex for how he treated you. She never fails to compliment you and when you mess up, she'll tell you too! She's never envious of you and what you have. Rather, she's happy for you. She will never trash-talk you, she won't flirt with your man, your birthday is marked in her brain and she knows what you stand for. What you are capable of, and what you're not. Finally, even when you shock her, she's still there for you. You can tell her ANYTHING because she won't judge you.

I have been through a lot friends, acquaintances and so on. Some lasted a semester, some a little longer. Some showed me they didn't have my back after all and some only took advantage of me. Some had good intentions but loud mouths. Others had way too much drama. Some fell for my boyfriend, and tried to justify it! Some smiled with me, and went behind my back and trashed me.

My real girlfriends have stood my by me always. We've had our fall outs but then again, I never said girlfriends never fight. They do but unlike other friends, when girlfriends make up, ALL IS FORGOTTEN. When real girlfriends fight, it brings them closer. This blog is a tribute to five special girlfriends. With them, I am complete.

Bella Obiago

Apart from being my baby sister, you're my friend. You understand me, support me, take care of me and shower me with unconditional love always. Your dreams of being a big star are not unrealistic. You are already a star to me and it's only a matter of time before the world sees you too. Don't stop believing, you are destined for greatness.

Cynthia Nwaru

You are probably the most interesting and exciting person I know. You light up a room with your infectious personality. It's hard not to smile when you are around. When it comes to girls, you are a Type A! Some, if not all, of my craziest memories have been with you. I am blessed to know and have a friend like you. You say it how it is and I love you for that. Your future is bright. I'd put my shades on if I were you ;)

Ekpa Eyoma

Since JS3, you've been my shrink, my sister, my friend and my confidant. Its remarkable that we have managed to stay so close all these years even with how far apart we are. Guess that's true friendship. We talk about everything under the sun, you are always offering a shoulder for me to lean on, boosting me and pushing me forward when I have lost hope in myself. I respect you for the values you uphold. I know you think you are no saint but to me, you are. Someone like you only deserves the best life has to offer and I know you will get it. Love you lots :*

Monica Dokpesi

Monica! Small but mighty. Prettiest girl you ever did see with enough ginger to make Terry G shut the hell up! LOL. People like you are so rare to come across. That's why I appreciate the Lord for you everyday. Soon you will find a brother that appreciates the gem that you are. Soon, all your dreams will come true. Crazy memories with you, moments you've shown me that you got my back no matter what...I'll always be grateful. Love you mama!

Rachel Obiago

My big sister but still my friend. Crazy, dynamic personality and uses the funniest phrases I have ever heard on planet earth! I don't always understand you but one thing I do know is that I love you. I love you enough to babysit for you and Paul when the time comes :P Just never send me more than 2 at a time! LOL. Thank you for always being there, thanks for the advice when I need it and the encouragement and support you show. You are one in a million!

The Currency We All Battle With...POUNDS!

First off all, I messed with y'all on the topic. It just seemed catchy. LOL. This is actually all about WEIGHT. With that said, obviously this post is for the "big" girls; un-skinny (LOL), curvy, voluptuous, robust, fat...call it what you may. Others may still feel free to read though.

Obesity is obviously not cool. Aside from it being unhealthy, it's gross. That we all agree. But where we have failed to agree is determining who is fat and who is not. I've been called "fat" a number of times and I get seriously offended. Fine, I am no lekpa (for my non Nigerian readers, that's a really skinny girl) but when I look in the mirror, I don't see "fat"! I see a sexy curvy woman- boobs, ass and all! LOL. I won't lie and say I am a 100% satisfied with my body. I could lose some tummy weight, tone a few muscles...but that is about it. I don't need to become a size 2 before I consider myself sexy!

All that said, I'm not saying you shouldn't lose weight if you want to. I was bigger before and after dropping the pounds, I feel better, more confident and definitely sexier. The point of this blog is to tell the big girls out there that you don't need to skinny to be sexy. What you need is;
*Clothes that flatter your body.
*Confidence
*And a deaf ear to all those who call you FAT!

Now if all my chatting thus far hasn't convinced you, then maybe these pictures will!

                                                  

My Soulmate (Music and Me)

When my spirits are down, it lifts me up.
When I am in pain, it soothes me.
When I need to let off steam, it's the perfect outlet.
I remember my first heart break.
Music never left my side.
Even when I'm hungry, a good tune dispels the feeling! LOL


RnB... it makes me calm. My thoughts become co-ordinated.
Rap... some are so deep, I sit and wonder about the words I hear.
Dancehall... the freak in me awakens. I wind to the beat; it's all I hear.
Jazz... what a way to relieve the stress of a long day.
Soul... it stirs my soul. I feel it inside of me.
Pop... I move my feet. The beats take control.


The artist doesn't matter (though you gotta love some of them!)
The mad video is cool to watch, but that's not my interest.
Live performances, mostly for showmanship. That's not what it is about for me.
What moves me is the music.
An insane beat, deep lyrics, the faint guitar strumming in the background. A voice that moves me.


Music is my soulmate. Till I take my last breath, it's Music and Me.

Fashion Police...Yeah baby!

Spare the rod, spoil the child. Fashion Police won't spare you!

So sometime ago on darling Twitter, Tara vexed and tweeted at Campus Heat telling them she would like to handle a Fashion Police section for Campus Heat. What do you know? They accepted!

Quite a fun job for me cause here in AUN, people assault us everyday with the outfits. It's high time they were arrested and brought to trial!

Here comes Campus Heat's Fashion Police. It's a blog on my Campus Heat profile and it will be updated with Fashion Offenders every Wednesday :D I'm going hard too! No pity for those who have refused to pity us! LOL. Still feel free to join in on the fun. When you see offenders in your schools or WHEREVER, send the pictures to me!

Also, if there are any other ideas you have, or things you would like to see on the blog (fashion tips, Best Dressed, etc) hit me up.

Check it out on http://campusheat.ning.com/profiles/blogs/premiere-fashion-police-the?xg_source=activity xxx

Five Things I Want For Christmas

Friends, lovers and fans. Twitter followers too! Here is my very simple list of things I want for Christmas.

1. A puppy

2. Red pumps

3. A record deal

4. A car

5. Classic Lindt chocolate.

Sigh. Aren't I such a simple young lady? LOL! X_X

Kick in the bu**

So I have this writing class this semester that has required each student to write a story of about 3000 words. My story was very me; it is what literally happened to me, but with a twist. The twist is in my story, fifteen years later I get to exact revenge on the heartbreaker and it is BLOODY! LOL.

So in this class, we discuss one student's story per day. One of us is a primary respondent to the story of the day, and the rest just give comments on what they think of the story. It just so happened that today is my story's spot in the light. So we are about four in class waiting for the arrival of the lecturer and other students, only for one of the guys (who I have always had reservations about before this incident) in class to ask me what I thought about the story for the day (btw, the writer of each story is anonymous but because it is a relatively small class, I can usually figure out who wrote what).

I shrugged and told him I thought the story was okay. And then he goes "I think the story was bullshit" :O Are you kidding me?! This is the same guy who wrote a story about an assassin who goes about killing people and cutting of their pinkies! At least, I think it's him. And I also believe he knew today's story was mine.

Young man deserves a kick in the bu**!

Clinging on to me

A long time ago, a girl loved a boy so much that she lost herself. She loved going out but never did because he didn't like going out. She liked a certain style of dressing but never wore what she liked because he didn't approve. She wanted to do so many things, see so many people and go so many places but she never did because she didn't want to upset him.

Finally, she was so lost she wasn't happy anymore. She had to break away from him and start finding herself again. That was about 2 years ago. In those two years, so much happened. Her persona went from "quiet fresher who came to college with her high school love" to a lot of things. Some good, some bad. Some people said she had lost her way, some said she was acting out. But that's life for you. There will always be those that talk, and those that know what they are talking about.

It wasn't easy to break away from 3 years of routine. It was certainly not easy getting through the years after that. So many times she just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. Some times, the new freedom she had found made her feel elated and she might have gotten carried away. But does she regret any of the choices she made? Should she? Why should she when she finally discovered herself? She grew into herself, learned to love herself and learned to live for herself.

So this summer, she met someone new. He is great and he makes her very happy when she is not about to rip his head off. The problem now is its not a summer fling like the "boyfriend" last summer was. This survived past summer and it seems to be going somewhere. What is wrong with that, some may ask. Well I'll tell you!

How many of us feel being in a serious relationship at this stage in life can make one lose sight of who they really are? Maybe to conform to what is expected of you, maybe because that thing you like to do gets your partner upset and you would rather not fight that day. It may seem like a little thing. After all, what is a relationship without compromise yeah?

Some people however, fight giving in to someone. Some people never want to compromise for someone else again because the last time they did, it cost them. It cost them the loss of who they really are. I'm one of those people.

This time, I'm clinging on to me.

Nigeria at 50

Yesterday was Nigeria's 50th year as an independent nation and while I get that it was a big deal, some people got really melodramatic about it. Mainly on Twitter of course cause I don't read the news. LOL.

People were tweeting lots of crap about being proud of Nigeria, bla bla bla. Then there was the very annoying "F*** that, we have this". I think the worst one was someone tweeting "F*** Beyonce, we have Omawunmi". I mean REALLY??? :o I got so mad yo! And then I started to put people on blast. LOL! Twitter was sure entertaining yesterday!

Anyways, while I am not necessarily proud of my country, I do acknowledge that we have the potential to be a great nation. But it's the same thing as having a son who keeps bringing home poor grades even though he is smart and could do better. Would you then say "well even though you got an F, I know you have the potential to get an A, so I am proud of you son!"? I don't know about you all but I would punish my kid, remind him that he can do better and until he improves, he won't get my praise!

So not to chat and go off point, all I am saying is Nigeria is a great country but we are not projecting just how great we can be. From corruption, to power failure, to mass poverty in the country, we are not trying at all! And I refuse to be one of the people to say "Well although I haven't had light since yesterday, I am still proud of Nigeria". That's a load of crap!

As one of my followers on Twitter said yesterday to calm me down, at least we have life. Yes, where there is life, there is hope. So I will keep hoping for this great nation to start showing just how great it is. But till then, I won't get excited about independence day.

Till Monday Comes Again

This is just a little poem I wrote for a class I am having this semester. I tried to rhyme. Lol. It's called Till Monday Comes Again.

At the end of every week,

I feel a little sick

I thank the Lord it’s Friday

For all my worries are cast away

At least ‘till Monday comes again.

Friday nights are always fun

On Saturday I enjoy the sun

Sunday I do nothing

For its the only time I've got nothing

At least ‘till Monday comes again.

Hehe :D I like it! Xxx

Revenge

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Why do people say that?

I never got it before. As with most experiences in life, I finally got it when it happened to me of course.

I finally got a chance to hurt as much as I have been hurt.

Our Christian values have taught us to leave revenge for God.

I wish I could say "when I got my revenge, it didn't feel as good as I hoped it would"

"I wish I hadn't taken matters into my own hands"

But I can't! I cannot lie.

It was amazing to get my revenge.

I needed it. I feel better.

I feel like I am ready to move on.

I feel like serving more dishes of revenge, maybe next time, a little colder!

I guess that's not nice. But I can't lie.

Revenge is a dish best served cold

And I am happy to be the head chef preparing it.

I am happy to be the waitress that serves it.

Summer 2010...It's a wrap!

My heading is pretty self-explanatory. Summer is officially over. Mixed feelings of course. Wish holidays never end. But I also can't wait to get back home to see my friends (though very few, LOL) and just do my Abuja thing. Those of you who know me in Abuja know that I never dull myself there. LOL :P

Well, it has been an amazing summer out here. Got to see friends and family I haven't seen in ages, the SHOPPING was damn wonderful, the wonderful places we visited, and the chance to just take a break from the hustle and stress of Nigeria. All of that was not bad at all!

6 weeks. Sigh. It has seemed so long and yet it feels like time just flew by. If my aunts and cousins read my blog, I would give the "thank you" speech, but they don't so doing that would probably annoy y'all and it would be pointless. LOL.

The one person I do have to thank on here whether y'all like it or not, is GOD. He made this entire summer possible; financially, with journey mercies for all our traveling, good health, e.t.c. Never doubt that there is a God, people. He is good to those that love him. My family and I are living proof of that!

Well before I get all preachy on y'all, I have finally completed the summer album this morning. A whooping 153 photos but they are all special and I just had to share with friends what an amazing vacation it was. Of course, it's a Facebook album so only friends on Facebook can see it. Feel free to add me though and if you look presentable (LOL jokes oh!) I will add you and you too can enjoy the pics.

Summer 2010...it's a WRAP! X

NotJustOk.com

Things that are not just okay;

• Never wanting to do stuff for people but always expecting them to do stuff for you
• Spending forever in a mall when you only have 5 things or less to buy
• Talking off point for thirty minutes
• Whining
• Wasting ages deciding between three colors of the same shirt
• Using the first hour and thirty minutes of a church service to do things other than preaching the word
• Asking someone what to do and when you're told, you refuse to listen to the person's suggestions. Why did you ask then?
• Eating too much eggs
• Eating too much
• Experiencing all of the above in ONE day!

Who is the stupid one?

"Our love is like NEPA and right now, they have taken the light but there isn't enough fuel to turn on the generator."

"We are across a bridge now and the other side is where YOU need to be. I am just not sure if I am meant to take you over to that side."

This one's the best.

Girl: Why you chatting up a babe on your Facebook wall?

Boy: Babe, I was just testing my phone because that's when I set up my BB. It was a long time ago and it means nothing.

When guys say these things to girls, I just wanna know one thing. Are they the stupid ones or do they actually think its us ladies that are stupid???

Lord knows I have heard it all from the guys I have dated! They give the stupidest reasons/ excuses and leave me wondering why someone would even come up with anything so daft, yet say it to ME! Surely, after being with me shouldn't they have picked up that one thing I am is SMART?

It also makes me angry cause when I mess up and its time to cover up, I go all out! Like I come up with some bad story that convinces the guy that he was wrong in the first place. But the point is I respect their brainwork to come up with a decent lie. I don't take 'em for granted by saying something as stupid as "it was a while ago when I just activated my BB and I was only checking to see if when I add him, it would work". What kind of bullocks is that!

Maybe some ditzy girls, desperate for love and ready to believe anything can buy such crap and that is what has encouraged guys to talk nonsense like that. However, I feel it is important for dudes to take note of the smart women and the ones who are not going to buy that and do a better job! You can't say stuff like that to someone with a working brain!

I hope the guys read this and start to come up with better lies and excuses for stuff. At least, if they want to prove that they are not stupid; cause it sure isn't me! Xxx

How many is MANY?

This morning my mum, my aunt and I were driving back from the bus station after dropping my friend off. They started a very interesting discussion about their lives and my aunt made a comment to my mum that she feels she has the ideal life because she has just two kids. LOL. My mum retorted saying many people often wonder why she has "just" two kids, isn't she going to have another one? I didn't join in the conversation but I listened intently and it got me thinking. Yup, I drifted off.

I started wondering how many kids I would like to have and if I would later feel unsatisfied with the number like my mum and aunt seem to be. My sister Rachel wants a brood if possible (God forbid, LOL) and Bella says she can handle 4 at most but I think I would prefer a small family.

Number 1, I am not really a child person. Yes, it is not a crime. Don't know why there is a notion that all women are baby crazy. I sure as hell am not! I only like real cute kids that I am related to. It's mean but it is the truth. Secondly, I feel more in control when there isn't too much mayhem and anything more than 3 kids is a circus to me. If I had four kids, especially four kids without too much gap in their ages, I may lose it! LOL.

For me, the ideal number of kids is 2. But as I would like to have both sexes, and I really want two girls cause I think sisters are too cute (I would know! LOL), I have decided on a boy and two girls :D How funny would it be if 15 years from now, I have 6!

Okay, not so funny. Xxx

NYC, the city of my dreams

So y'all know I been so excited about going to New York and dreaming of all the fun I would have there. I am back now and it was just the maddest weekend ever!!! It was like an actual reality show; could have been called Obiagos Take On New York. Lmao! Well Ekpa was along for trip so not really just Obiagos.

Anyways, we did a lot of cool stuff. We went to a club, went to a bbq with lots of sexy boys (oh my stars!), sightseeing in Times Square and shopping in Brooklyn. All in all, the social events were a lot of good fun. We also had some dramatic moments, as is sure of any group of young women together in a small space. LOL. All were sorted out at the end though.

From this weekend, I further improved on my "tolerating people skills". I also reaffirmed that though family may bug you more than friends do, they are they very best and the people that will always be there for you! This NYC weekend was classic to say the least. I would do it ALL over and over AGAIN!

Obias Obiago, Rachel Obiago, Bella Obiago, Ekpa Eyoma and Jabari Beaton, thank you all for an amazing weekend in my beloved city, New York! :*

If you're not married, then you're single!

Controversial heading? Or just the plain simple truth people refuse to see?

This post was inspired by a video I recently saw going by the same topic. A guy took it upon himself to educate people on relationships and point out the stupid mistakes people make while dating.

There are so many people who carry a relationship on top of their heads and it ends up weighing them down cause you not suppose to attach so much sentiment and use up so much energy for a relationship. Take me for example. I had this relationship that I basically treated like a marriage. As you can imagine, it didn't work out. You end giving more than you suppose to give and that's never good!

I don't want to call anybody out but I know people (most especially ladies!) who live with, cook for and wash for the boyfriend. I know the ones that hang around the boy's mama helping out in the house and of all that. It's good that you love your boyfriend and you are dedicated to him. Marriage may even be what you have in mind and that's why you feel all you do for him and all you give to him is okay. Well, it ain't! What you doing is called "doing the most" which basically means you doing all the things you should do as his WIFE before he even marries you!

Now, not all guys are jerks. Some of them will still marry you even after you have basically given them your all. But here is the part that people refuse to accept or realize. Most of them will not! Ever heard the phrase "why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?" Well you are giving free milk! He is not going to settle with you after getting the milk for free. The girl who will take him from you is someone who hasn't given it all up. She didn't "do the most".

Another issue is the "(s)he cheated on me"! It's like saying your friend cheated on you. The person you saying cheated on you does not belong to you. So they didn't cheat on you. Cheating is a term for married couples and y'all stole it. Simple and short.

So to round up, as my Naija people would put it, boyfriend no be husband. If there's no ring on your finger, you are single. Treat your relationships with the right amount of energy and the boyfriend or girlfriend will appreciate you, and it could lead to something great, rather than a nasty breakup.

Watch the video with the link below and hear it from the master himself! X

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7BENaDDZlw

Private Torture

Private torture

Its you and I

You're showing me things

No one else sees

Tracing my body,

Your fingers all over

A special kind of torture

That's just for me.

I now see life in a different light

You're touching not just my body,

My soul and my mind too

In this place, we're all alone

Dancing to a tune only we share

Private torture, its you and I

Private torture, just for me.

Summer's in the air

Ah Summer! Summer is in the air. Summer love, summer clothes, summer hair...summer trends I all love. My summer holiday has been a long one. It started in May (yeah I am allergic to summer school) and it still ain't over! It's gonna end in August.

I spent the first half of summer in Abuja, my city, being conspicuous, avoiding drama and being in love. LOL. After a hectic spring semester, it was necessary for me to recuperate! The second half of summer which is still currently going on, is going down in United States of Crazy also known as America.

First stop was Delaware (suburbia to the core, quiet and too boring for my personality), and second stop was Maryland. Maryland is going aight. Since I been here, I have witnessed a mini earthquake, gone on a lot of shopping sprees and nearly had a meltdown from people over age 40 pissing me off. LOL. I am happy to report that both Delaware and Maryland have a high score on the hot guys meter. Funny enough, Delaware is still doing better in that department!

There is a place where the hot guy count will shoot off the radar though. It's going down this weekend! NYC baby! No parents, no aunties, no uncles. 5 days of unsupervised fun and madness. Yes boss! I CAN'T WAIT! Might need a fake ID though. LMAO!

Hope y'all are having an amazing summer wherever you are. Make the best of it! It's like your birthdays and Christmas; only comes ONCE a year! ;)

Beauty

Beauty is defined by so many things and it also has many definitions. A dictionary I looked up the word "beautiful" defined it as ANYTHING or ANYONE that pleases one's mind or senses aesthetically. This definition therefore means that anything or anyone could be beautiful to someone.

As an ignorant person (that I once was. LOL), I would argue with that and say some things and some people can just never be beautiful no matter how you look at it. I know better now. When I look at people now, I try to find what could make them beautiful. It doesn't have to be their looks. It could be the heart, the musical way they walk, the smile they give even though the world they are smiling at doesn't deserve it. Little things like that make one beautiful.

Also, looking for the beauty around you can make a day much more pleasant. After all, beautiful things make one smile. So look for the simple beauty in everyday. And it doesn't matter what you consider beautiful. Anything or anyone can be beautiful. X

Changes

Been a while I was on here. Been waiting for something to inspire me but then I decided I should just come here, read old posts and something would come to me. I was right! I want to talk about changes, mainly cause since my last post, a lot has changed with me so I felt I should update y'all.

Two months ago, I was fragile and emotionally broken. I was not in a good place. Posts like 911, When It Rains, etc, must have shown that clearly. Well well, good news is, that phase is over. Nothing like a change of environment and people to change your outlook on life! That time, I was detoxing. Getting rid of the people that didn't add anything to me, or even worse, only took me from me. Not sure if the process is totally completed but I have certainly made headway. Serious headway.

I am stronger, better, smarter and definitely more grown up. And even though I will return to AUN in the fall (yes, that didn't change unfortunately), I know it will be different cause I am different now.

Remember y'all! Don't be scared of change unless you ready to die. Those two are the only constants in life. X!

TCB Cruise Lounge...maddest experience yet!!!

A day I never thought would come so soon has finally come. The day I say goodbye to the TCB (Tara Cynthia & Bella) Cruise Lounge! I always thought I would end up graduating from college in that house.

The TCB Cruise Lounge was an idea totally unexpected. C wanted to get a place off campus and I suggested it would be fun if we all lived together. Little did we know that "fun" was an understatement. The past 8 months have been the craziest of my life so far.

I remember our first night. Loool! I remember so much that putting all of them down here would take forever.This is a blog after all. Not a diary! I just know that the way I feel now is a feeling I always want to remember, so what better idea than to blog about it!

Here is to all the cruises, the tears, the laughter, the great st**ffs, the balling times and the garri times (lool), but most importantly, to the two most amazing housemates anyone could ever ask for; Cynthia and Bella.

I will always be grateful to you both for an amazing junior year in college. This blogpost is dedicated to you guys and the amazing house we shared.

All my love! <3 TCB (09 <3 09)

When It Rains

When it rains, it makes me happy
Cause I'd rather have it pour
Than face the sun.

When it rains, I feel nostalgic
Cause I remember us
Memories I try so hard to push away.

When it rains, I feel alone
Cause it gets cold
And you're not there to hold me.

When it rains, it saves me face
Cause then you can't see
That I am crying as I walk away.

When it rains, I miss you
Cause it reminds me
Of when we first fell in love.

When it rains, I'm not the same
Cause my spirit wanders away...
I know you can feel me next to you.

One mail a day

Kennedy and Karen were very good friends. They loved and respected each other and were always there for one another. It was no surprise when they fell in love and begun dating. They were so good together, they had fans and they had haters. The haters made it hard, the fans showed them they had something worth holding on to.

As in any normal relationship, they had their problems. Kennedy's was trust mainly, and Karen had a deep insecurity. Kennedy started to change, and so did Karen. They went on and off but always found a way back to each other.

Till the day they couldn't hold it together anymore. They broke up still in love and with promises to come back home when they had each sorted out their own personal issues. We all know that birds always have to leave the nest at some point. If they return or not, should be left to them. Karen never strayed far. Metaphorically speaking, she went back ever so often to keep the nest tidy; for the day she and Kennedy would be back home.

Kennedy had other plans. He flew so far away, Karen started to give up hope that he would ever come back. She stopped checking on "their nest" and flew away too.

I am sure we all know how this story goes. When she left, is when Kennedy decided to drop by to check on the nest. He wasn't even ready to come back yet. No, he just wanted to make sure Karen was still around. Was he mad when he discovered she had flown away too! He called for her and they talked. "Stay around" he said to her. "I'll be home soon, I still love you." "Then why can't you just come back now? I am ready, what's still keeping you out there?" Karen replied. "I still have issues to sort out and I don't want to bring them back here. I want a clean fresh start for us." And so Karen bought it, and came back to wait around for when Kennedy would finally be ready.

But again, I am sure we all know how this story goes. Kennedy still flew off again. This time, much farther away. Karen stayed there, stupid in love, waiting for him. He went and made another nest somewhere else and she heard about it. Not believing it, she called for him and asked him if it was true. "I meant to tell you" he said. Karen and Kennedy had finally reached the end of their fraying rope. Karen packed up her things, took back her heart and asked Kennedy never to contact her again.

Now, at this point, you may not all know how the story goes. But don't worry, that's what I am here to tell. "You don't know what you have till it's gone." That is what happened to Kennedy.

One mail a day, he'll send to her. One mail a day, till she speaks to him again. One mail a day, for the rest of his life.

One mail a day... is it enough?

911

If you don't know Wyclef Jean and Mary J Blige's song, 911, then you gotta listen to it first before you read this blog!

How many of us have had that 911 kinda love?

The love that your momma and the old folks warned you about?

I sure have!!! Its surreal, amazing, and you feel like you're floating all the time. But its also hard, painful and it can sometimes literally feel like you got shot in the heart.

That kind of love is trouble but whenever you look in his/her eyes, its worth the sacrifice.

You'll feel like a prisoner but even if he or she opened the door to let you out, you would rather stay.

And when it gets too much, you'll finally need to call 911.

I hope you get lucky; I hope you're still breathing when they get there...

I nearly didn't make it.

I like...

Sometimes you wonder what you are doing in a certain place. Why aren't you elsewhere? What are you contributing to the place you're at? Will people notice if you leave? Will they miss you when you are not there? These are the questions that go through our minds.

I like to think I came to AUN to help someone whenever they needed a place to crash.
I like to believe that someone will miss me when I am not here cause they don't have that person that always makes 'em laugh.
I like to think that someone knows if I wasn't in a certain class, he or she would have failed the course.
I like to think I gave someone courage to do something they didn't think they could do.
I like to think that I showed someone that just cause a girl won't date you, doesn't mean she didn't care about you.
I like to think I made someone's birthday a very special one.
I like to think I provide an anchor for someone and having me around meant having someone to always talk to.
I like to think my existence showed someone that angels do come to earth once in a while.
I like to think my being here showed someone what real love is.

If you are not doing anything for anyone where you are, then why are you there?

Letting go isn't always easy (R.I.P Aunty Vio)

Yesterday, I was very down and depressed. I looked around and started to see all the things I would miss when I do leave AUN. For those of you who don't know, I am transferring to a new school in fall and leaving AUN for good. At least, that is the hope! But yesterday, as I sat outside at my favorite spot in front of Girls' Dorm, a lot of memories came to me. Right up was the window of the only room I ever stayed in and I suddenly saw my old roommate, Rosemary, dancing, as silly as ever. This of course was all in my head because Rosemary graduated last year. Next i looked at the stones on the ground. The stones my ex boyfriend used to pick up and throw at the window whenever he came around looking for me. Even where I sat, was where he and I had always stayed whenever I came down, talking, cuddling, laughing and sometimes, fighting. Before I knew it, I was crying for AUN! A place I thought I was so happy to leave. Its funny how hard letting go can be.

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of the death of one of my favourite aunts. She died in a car crash in 2007 on this very day. Cruel April Fools' joke huh? I also realised that I haven't let go of her yet. Obviously I am not supposed to forget her but I surely haven't said goodbye yet. I am scared that if I do, then she really is dead! Is that crazy or what? Well its how I feel.

Letting go is tough. But its something we all have to do at some point in our lives. We either let go of old friends, old schools, old relationships, and lost loved ones. If you don't know how to let go, you basically end up carrying a lot of baggage through out your life, like I have done for the past three years.

I am using today to let go finally. Rest in Peace Aunty Violet. I miss you dearly, but you are in a better place. Xxx

Mirror mirror on the wall

Yesterday, just before my class, I went into the bathroom and stared at the mirror. I laughed for a good five minutes after, and then the tears surfaced. Why was I laughing? I laughed because I saw a baby in the mirror; cute clear face, dimples, innocent smile, even now I don't use weaves anymore, it makes me look younger. So I laughed at the irony of it all, I laughed at the fact that people who don't know me well, always look at my face and think I am capable of nothing. They think I am just a baby!

Then the tears came. They came because of the memory of each time I have felt pain too deep for a baby. They came because as I stared at myself in the mirror, I realized this; I am a woman trapped in the "little girl" persona people label me with. Only very few people really know me. Most others from my parents, to friends, to other relatives and even acquaintances would be amazed to know what I have done and the things I have felt.

At first, it was amusing. Fooling people with the innocent eyes and dimples gave me a thrill. But yesterday, as I stared at my teary-eyed reflection on the wall, I realized that it was time to stop, because I don't even know who I am anymore. Rather, I know who I am but I spend way too much time hiding that person because I feel the need to protect those who think I am a baby. I give them the baby they want to see and now, that has gotten exhausting.

We all need to start living for ourselves. Be who you are and those that truly love you and care about you will be there. Those that don't accept the real you, maybe they aren't meant to be a continuos chapter in your life. Turn the page and move on. The worst thing you can do to yourself, is denying who you REALLY are.

Twitter, and the Blackberry!!!

Its been a while since I blogged. Twitter is taking over. Its like mini blogging! Also, I don't really have anything to blog about but some people are missing my wise words (yeah right!) so I am back! If you miss me on blogger though, feel free to follow me on Twitter. http://twitter.com/Tara_Obiago

Now, how many of us are always messing about with that little device called a Blackberry? Blackberries are taking over! We now say "ping her" instead of "call her" and when someone gets a Blackberry, it's like "finally, you have joined civilization!"

I was once one of the "BB beefers" but now I have one, I can't believe I went so long without one! I am no addict though. At least, I don't think so. I still have a few friends that ain't on the BB madness yet and texting 'em feels like a throwback! LOL.

I wonder what will be next when we all get over the Blackberry. Like a friend of mine said (on Twitter by the way!), life was simpler when the Apple and Blackberry were just fruits!

2010...at last?

Hey everyone! Happy New Year. Welcome to 2010 finally! Been waiting to be over with 2009, it was a really tough year. But then what I realized was that instead of waiting for 2009 to be over so my problems would be past, I could have just gotten off my arse and gotten past my issues without waiting for 2010 to come. After all, it's not like when the new year started, there was a magical light above my head and all my drama from the past year was magically erased. Oh well, more on that later.

This year is my last full year in college and I am trying to decide whether I shall be nice or naughty this year ;) I have a lotta stuff I need to accomplish this year, things I need to stop doing, people I need to stop talking to, people I need to get back in my life...it could make a sane person's head spin, all the stuff I need to do. 

Well I am ready for the ride. It's gonna be an amazing one I hope. Anyways all I really wanted to say is this;

If you have been waiting for a new year to do something, STOP! Just start doing. It would suck to end the year saying, "2011, I'll do it".

Have a lovely year! X